Tweet This!

I checked out Twitter, the latest online sensation. And here’s my review:

IT SUCKS.

I mean, really, who has the time to ‘follow’ ten bozos whose life revolves around, ‘Hey, just landed in Bucharest today. Great weather’ and ‘I think I’m constipated. Will see a doctor later.’

I mean, DUH!

But if you watch CNN and follow the U.S. military, you’d think Twitter is the best thing to happen to mankind since The Flintstones invested the wheel. See how CNN is feverishly marketing Twitter. Someone should tell them it’s looking silly now. They ‘insert’ Twitter into stories where this thing is completely irrelevant. And you wonder why they’re doing this. A friend of mine who is a famous anchor at CNN told me the management there is really pushing all anchors to use Twitter and shut down Facebook and other social networking accounts. Really, this is no exaggeration. The next thing we’ll hear Larry King tweeting from the toilet. I don’t event want to think about it.

So CNN’s parent company might have a commercial interest here. That’s what I said to myself. Until the US military jumped in the fray.

This is what CENTCOM did: It flew the management of Twitter to Iraq to introduce them to the Arab tribal chieftains. And then CNN came out with this big story about how big a deal this was: Twitter in Iraq?! I mean here’s the story about how America lifted Iraq from the Stone Age into the 21st Century’s Twitter Civilization! Now everyone in Iraq will live happily ever after.

And you should’ve seen this Twitter co-founder acting like this cool ‘inventor’ who is doing humanity a favor by taking out a few days out of his previous work to introduce Iraq to Twitter. [Before landing in Iraq, he was obviously busy in tweeting, ‘Guess what guys, flying to Iraq. See u in Baghdad’ and ‘We just met Abdul Mohammed. Told him about Twitter. Blown away.’

So why is CNN and the US military promoting Twitter? It’s a funny idea. Some people might like it. But, really, who cares?

Here’s what the truth about Twitter:

“Apparently more than 60 percent of Twitter users fail to return the following month and pre-Oprah more than 70 percent of Twitter users failed to return to the site according to David Martin, Vice President, Nielsen Online.”

Someone should tell this to CNN. And to US military too.